A New Day Has Come/ Part II

So it's now the 4th of July, and every idiot in the city thinks that means "Let's set a bunch of shit on fire!" But that's not what this holiday is about. It's about freedom. It's about moving away from an oppressive form of Government and giving its followers choice. Evidently the memo was lost in my neighborhood, and all the neighbors saw were the firework stands. But I digress.

While I don't want this blog to be about sadness and heartache, I must comment on something that, for two years, has been absolutely eating me up inside. Not something, someone. Shawn. I suspect he will never read this, so I will speak freely. Shawn was, and always will be, the love of my life. He was smart, funny, quick witted, and will (fortunately or not) be the measure of all future loves for me. He came with a dark side, of course, as we all do, but in spite of that, I loved him more than anything. And like most men have, he broke my heart. And two years later, I am still broken.

I recently met a man, a doctor, who I found quite attractive and interesting. And, despite my better judgement, after my exam (and a buttload of money!) later, I found on Facebook, messaged, and thought 'scored' a date with. Turns out, he's no different than the many, many men in the DC area, and can't seem to act his age and actually agree to go out. Rather, he wants his playtime. I wish him the best. My point in saying all of this is that it seems to not matter what I do, say, or look like, I am never good enough. I know, I know, I sound like a whiny bitch, and I don't mind. It's just been the luck of the draw for me.

At the end of the day, I have my two beautiful dogs, a very exclusive and wonderful friends, and the knowledge that I'm not one of the 'A-gays' I so frequently refer to, and feel good about who I am. I just hope and pray it's not all in vain.

A new day has come...

It's been more than four years since I've posted anything here, and I made a promise to myself that I would start back up again. Anyone who knows me knows that I need some kind of creative outlet, and am also somewhat opinionated.

For those of you who don't recognize the name of the post, it's the title of a Celine Dion song circa 2001 - 2002. After you're all done rolling your eyes (and I know who you are), take a moment to reflect on the title with me for a moment.

Each and every day is a gift, one that most of us (myself included) choose not to celebrate for various reasons. Our jobs, our families, our homes. Something is always giving us stress. I've spent the past four months experiencing severe back pain, and the possibility of surgery, and have wallowed in that pain the entire time. But it recently hit me that, in spite of the overwhelming physical pain, I still have life. Every day brings to me the opportunity to do more, be more. To learn something, experience something new. To LIVE.

There are so many things to experience in this world, and I've seen but a small few of them. And now, I realize this needs to change. While I may not travel to lands far and wide, I promise to try and 'see' something new every day. And I hope you'll all follow me in the journey.

Until next time, be well, be happy, and most of all, be true to yourselves.

Making sense of it all

Greetings, all,

It occurs to me that I haven't posted on here since February, which is most definitely past my due date. It's been a hectic year, to say the least. I have been working like a dog on the house, which has created more issues than I ever imagined. For those of you who have purchased foreclosed homes, you know what I mean. In April, I took a new position at work and am now doing proposal and grant writing. And of course, i've been fostering the dogs. And this is why I write this evening.

For those of you who don't know, I volunteer with the Virginia German Shepherd Rescue (www.shepherdrescue.org). The rescue brings in unwanted, or abused, or neglected shepherds, fosters them, and helps each one to find what we call a "forever home". I am one of them, and I wear this title proudly. There has been only one instance in the past 9 months of a dog I wasn't able to handle, and she immediately went to a new foster home and was angelic. The people I work with are passionate, loyal, loving, and work very much as a tight-knit family (for example, the foster who took the aforementioned dog from me, which allowed me to take in another). There is not one volunteer in this organization who wouldn't give their left arm to see that every unwanted dog was placed with a loving, caring family, one that would cherish this animal until its final day. And it is with that spirit that I write this post.

An intake volunteer sent a message to us tonight, and part of the post read: "[Animal Control] found her owners (who) no longer wanted (her) and planned on setting her loose somewhere." They planned on setting her loose somewhere. Two weeks ago it was the woman who abandoned her home with her own two dogs, but left the ex-husband's ex-wife's shepherd tied to a tree. Before that it was something else, and something else, and, oh yes, something else.

I can't begin to express my utter disgust with the human race at this moment. I mean, on what planet does someone assume that deserting a dog (tying it to a tree, setting it free, etc) is acceptable behavior? You domesticate an animal, feed it, give it love and a warm place to sleep, and then you abandon it and expect it to take care of itself? This kind of behavior, which is all too common and stretches way beyond the confines of German shepherds, sickens me, and anyone, ANYone who partakes of this behavior should be punished. Period. We imprison people for abuse of other humans, I think the time has come to dole out the same exact punishment for those who abuse their pets.

I've met many people in the past year or so who have been forced to give up their pets for one reason or another, and show extreme remorse. In fact, i've shed many tears with these individuals because I can absolutely feel their pain. I understand that there are certain circumstances that are beyond ones control, but these that I am speaking of tried everything in their power to hold onto their beloved 'kids', and couldn't. They are not the ones I am referring to. This is directed to the shallow, callous individuals who think pet ownership (or as I call it, parenthood) is a right, not a priviledge, and if the dog has to be put to sleep because hard times come and they can't have a dog anymore and they're just too lazy to follow the proper channels to get it into a new home, it's no big deal, it's just a dog, right? Wrong. You are the absolute worst of the worst to me, and don't deserve the unconditional love that a pet provides.

The worst part about it is that if any one of these abandoned dogs (or other animals) were reunited somehow with the former owner, they'd forgive and forget; our four-legged friends are just that way. I, on the other hand, don't forget, and will do everything in my power to make sure that those who don't deserve the loyal companionship of a pet don't get it.

Playing Catch-Up

It's been a very long time since I've written in here, and after all of the recent activity, I felt it was time to get everyone caught up.

First and foremost, I just started a war on Facebook with an old friend from high school. What is the fight about, you ask? Obama, of course. Never in my life have I seen someone divide a nation as quickly has he has. And it's no secret that I'm not an Obama fan; never have been, never will be. That does not, however, mean I wish failure upon him. Quite the contrary. I want him to succeed, I want him to be able to get this country back up and running, and get back those 3.6+ million jobs that we've lost. But call me a pessimist, I don't see it happening on his watch. At any rate, a battle of wills is taking place globally, nationally, and now on Facebook with me and an old friend from high school. Stay tuned...

I recently bought a house. Without going into too much detail, my 30 day closing turned into a 3 month ordeal. I'm sure you've all been there once or twice, so I won't talk too much about that. I will say that I was hesitant about purchasing the home because of its location: Gay Street. Yes, as I said in an email to family and friends notifying them of my new digs, "My homosexual chickens have come home to roost." For those of you who Mapquest the street and know DC, you'll see that I'm in what some would call a 'questionable' area (others would flat-out call it the ghetto). But one benefit of the housing market crash is that I was able to purchase a larger home for a smaller amount of money. Which leads me to....

The dogs. Yes, plural. You all know I volunteer with a wonderful organization called the Virginia German Shepherd Rescue. Well, upon moving into the new place (complete with a yard!), I agreed to start fostering dogs until their 'forever homes' could be found. Much to Cane's dismay, foster dog #1, Jenna, a 1.5 year old purebred German shepherd showed up on New Year's Eve day. There definitely wasn't a ton of love there at first, but they've grown to really care about one another. It took me all of a day to tell my rescue that I was adopting her. Yes, I'm a foster 101 failure.

A few weeks later, Max showed up. Max is a shepherd/ husky mix and damn cute, with an amazing personality. Within 2 days a family expressed interest, came to Gay Street (which is funny only because I think they're very conservative, and when I made a joke about my street name, they told me that I was just happy all of the time. If only they knew the truth...). They knew they wanted him the moment they saw him, so after his minor surgical procedure (yes, he's now the 4-legged equivalent of an Italian castrato), he'll be leaving me this weekend to live with his new family.

Several days after Max arrived, a hoarding case was discovered in W. VA. where the man had died and all of his dogs had been left outside. For how long, I don't know. They ended up in shelter, and I agreed to take one. Long story short, Silver, an 85 pound shepherd is now hogging the part of the bed that the first 3 don't. So, I've started sleeping in the crate. He's a wonderful dog, and don't tell anyone, but I'm thinking of adopting him, too.

I've gotten some very mixed reactions about having 4 dogs, and the one that sticks out the most is this: "You're crazy." This has been bothering me for days now, and I just can't seem to move past it. I'm almost 37 years old, I have no children (human children, rather), I'm single, and I have a house large enough to accommodate these animals comfortably (aside from me being crated at night). What is it that makes me crazy for wanting to help these animals find loving homes? Aren't I doing the same thing that Brad & Angelina are doing by adopting children from poor countries, only with different types of children? Is there a lack of nobility when one chooses to house animals in need rather than kids? And frankly, isn't it really no body's damn business what I do with my time/home/money/love? Forgive me for the high horse attitude folks, but as I get older I lose more and more patience due to ignorance and judgement. I don't care what anyone else does. If you want to be a professional underwater basket weaver, by all means do it. I may not be personally interested in it, but I'll support your decision.

So, having said all of that, my family is growing, and by god it will continue to do so as long as I still have breath in me. And for the naysayers who, well, naysay: due respect, but piss off. Of course, none of those I'm speaking of have ever seen this blog, so perhaps I'll plant that seed next. Yes, I still like to instigate things. It's part of my charm. I believe that is all for this post. Thanks for reading. I promise to try and do better at keeping this updated. And remember, if you're looking for a companion, please rescue one. Millions of pets need a good home. Millions of breeders only want your cash.

Politics and a Reformed Democrat

It's night number 1 of the Democratic National Convention in Denver, CO, and for the first time in years, I could care less. I know that I'm likely to get a ration from some of you, but when Hillary Clinton dropped out, so did I. I thought (and still do) that this Obama joker was too freshman, too inexperienced, too much of a "yes-man" to do the job. And yet something about him has transfixed an entire nation, an entire world, into thinking he is the better man for this job. I'm still not convinced. Not that I think McCain is so much better, but every day I feel more and more that a vote for either won't be a vote for the best candidate. A vote for either will likely be a vote for the lesser of two evils.

Now, to be fair, I don't know an awful lot about politics, other than the opinions I develop based on what I read in the Post and hear from friends. I don't have a degree in political science, and I certainly don't work in a largely-political environment (though in DC, McDonalds can be political). What I do know is this: I have spent a good portion of my professional life in the non-profit sector, listening to various directors drone on and on about how it is the government's job to save them from their plight. I have heard people who lost their job for differing reasons expecting the feds to take care of them. I read in the paper that people who ride the subway don't want to be able to hear music from other people's Ipods, for heaven sake. The conclusion I've come to is this: stop your bitching, worry about yourself, and move on!

I know this all comes off as rather harsh and politically incorrect, especially knowing how liberal i've always been. But I think in this time of war (which I do not support, nor did I ever), in this time of financial downfall (I do not support the foreclosure bailouts - you signed the paperwork, you fix it yourself or pay the piper), and in this time of energy dependence (feelin' a little stupid now buying that Escalade, aren't you?), we all need to start taking a little more responsibility for our own actions. Allow me to elaborate on one of these points specifically: the housing crisis.

I don't believe in my heart of hearts that the government should bear any responsibility in saving those homes at risk for foreclosure. I think the fault lies within the mortgage industry trying to give people more than they can afford and not explaining to them what a 3/1 or 5/1 ARM is, or what APR means, or not showing an amoritized list of all payments. But more importantly, I think the fault is with the buyer. I've owned 2 homes in my life, and both times I asked the questions that needed to be asked (i.e. "Is the 360th payment going to be the same as the first?"). It's not rocket science, yet everyone seems to use ignorance as an excuse. "I didn't know because I didn't ask and no one told me, so the responsibility lies with someone else, and I am fault-free." In case you weren't picking up on my oh-so subtle subtext, I think this is complete crap.

That's not to say that we don't all make mistakes. We're human, and that's the way it goes. But when millions and millions of people are doing the same thing, it's not a mistake. It's an epidemic. And I do not support in any way the idea of the federal government using my tax dollars to bail Billy Bob and his 14 kids out because he didn't read the fine print. Am I bitter? You bet I am. And mark my words, kids: things are only going to get worse. Our economy is in the toilet, we have zero diplomatic relations with the rest of the world, and whoever wins this election is going to spend their entire term trying to clean up messes such as these. The only upside to this story is that I, an average, middle-class citizen, will have the opportunity to buy a much nicer home at a drastically reduced price. So I guess cultural stupidity does have its benefits.

But on to more important things. Cané, my wanna be drug-sniffing dog, decided to bolt the other day while on leash and gave herself a slight tracheatic boo boo. She's been hacking like a 3-pack a day smoker, and while this isn't funny, I do find it amusing that she learned nothing from that experience. She's still pulling on her leash, trying to get wherever it is we are going at warp speed. I have to laugh at all of this, for as silly as she can be, she still makes me laugh every day. See, i'm not a complete hard-ass.

Until next time.

Baseballs and Technodogs

Sometimes, it seems, life throws you a series of curveballs when you're not looking, and all of a sudden you are forced to become adept at hitting them, lest you be hit. For me, "strike out" has been the mantra by which I have lived much of my life. Not that that is necessarily a bad thing, but you get used to something and when it changes, it feels odd. I've had issues with jobs, the dating scene, and sometimes my family (who hasn't?), but recently things seem to be falling into place, albeit a strange one.

I was recently promoted at work: Proposal Writer. For those of you who don't know, I started my true career in 2001 in fundraising and grantwriting. It was in this that I discovered a passion long buried, one that called for creativity and outside-of-the-box thinking (never my strong suit, but free-association really helps). Over the last 7 years i've held positions that have been development related, often coupled with the dreaded "I've written this proposal and now I want to ask you for money" bit. This most frequently happens with a large company or foundation. That was never my strong suit, nor will it ever be.

As I was saying, I get promoted at work to proposal writer, and find myself in a sea of the unknown. I work for a contractor that deals with some very high-tech information - engineering mostly - and have since been getting a crash course in technological information. Ask me what a distributed sensor is today, and I can probably tell you (Ok, the answer I give may not be right, but I can make something up with the best of them). I feel as though i've been given this incredible opportunity, and I feel very lucky to have been in the right place at the right time.

This is just a little update from me to you. No funny quotes, no amusing anecdotes, and yes, Cané is doing extraordinarily well. She just 'woofed' down a chew bone and is, as I write this, lying on the bed, paws twitching, likely dreaming about chasing squirrels through open fields. Or perhaps she too is thinking about distributed sensors and their wide application in military as well as civilian operations. My money is on the latter - she's very smart. Of course, based on this photograph, you certainly couldn't call her very chaste.

My first blog...how exciting!

Yes, I finally decided to to it - start a blog. I've resisted for a long time because it just seems like so much trouble. But I realize it's even better than email, so here goes.

I've been back in Washington, DC for just under a year now, and while the circumstances getting here were less than desirable, I guess I can say the end justified the means. It took months for me to feel like I was back in the swing of things: new job, new apartment, new roommate, and so on, and now I feel like i'm hitting a stride. I sat down a few months ago and began writing a book and a TV show - haven't touched either in about a month, but i'm feeling the itch again. So hopefully you'll see my name at either Borders or on Showtime soon!

Cané is almost 2 now (November 26), and she is just a love bug. She is very well socialized, goes nose to nose with just about every dog that will let her, and only gets weird with food. Hmm, I wonder where she learned that... Another day i'll post the article that I wrote for the VA German Shepherd Rescue, which will then clue you into what I affectionately call "Sofagate" (let's just say that my roommate won't be buying another new sofa anytime soon, and I won't be getting my deposit back when I move out!).

I'm still working for OSI - I'll celebrate my one year anniversary on October 1, 2008. It's been an incredible journey, a wonderful learning experience, and I look forward to a long and mutually prosperous relationship with them.

Ok, I believe that's enough for post number 1. I hope to keep this thing updated regularly (once a week?), even if I end up being the only one who reads it.

Peace.