A New Day Has Come/ Part II

So it's now the 4th of July, and every idiot in the city thinks that means "Let's set a bunch of shit on fire!" But that's not what this holiday is about. It's about freedom. It's about moving away from an oppressive form of Government and giving its followers choice. Evidently the memo was lost in my neighborhood, and all the neighbors saw were the firework stands. But I digress.

While I don't want this blog to be about sadness and heartache, I must comment on something that, for two years, has been absolutely eating me up inside. Not something, someone. Shawn. I suspect he will never read this, so I will speak freely. Shawn was, and always will be, the love of my life. He was smart, funny, quick witted, and will (fortunately or not) be the measure of all future loves for me. He came with a dark side, of course, as we all do, but in spite of that, I loved him more than anything. And like most men have, he broke my heart. And two years later, I am still broken.

I recently met a man, a doctor, who I found quite attractive and interesting. And, despite my better judgement, after my exam (and a buttload of money!) later, I found on Facebook, messaged, and thought 'scored' a date with. Turns out, he's no different than the many, many men in the DC area, and can't seem to act his age and actually agree to go out. Rather, he wants his playtime. I wish him the best. My point in saying all of this is that it seems to not matter what I do, say, or look like, I am never good enough. I know, I know, I sound like a whiny bitch, and I don't mind. It's just been the luck of the draw for me.

At the end of the day, I have my two beautiful dogs, a very exclusive and wonderful friends, and the knowledge that I'm not one of the 'A-gays' I so frequently refer to, and feel good about who I am. I just hope and pray it's not all in vain.

A new day has come...

It's been more than four years since I've posted anything here, and I made a promise to myself that I would start back up again. Anyone who knows me knows that I need some kind of creative outlet, and am also somewhat opinionated.

For those of you who don't recognize the name of the post, it's the title of a Celine Dion song circa 2001 - 2002. After you're all done rolling your eyes (and I know who you are), take a moment to reflect on the title with me for a moment.

Each and every day is a gift, one that most of us (myself included) choose not to celebrate for various reasons. Our jobs, our families, our homes. Something is always giving us stress. I've spent the past four months experiencing severe back pain, and the possibility of surgery, and have wallowed in that pain the entire time. But it recently hit me that, in spite of the overwhelming physical pain, I still have life. Every day brings to me the opportunity to do more, be more. To learn something, experience something new. To LIVE.

There are so many things to experience in this world, and I've seen but a small few of them. And now, I realize this needs to change. While I may not travel to lands far and wide, I promise to try and 'see' something new every day. And I hope you'll all follow me in the journey.

Until next time, be well, be happy, and most of all, be true to yourselves.