A New Day Has Come/ Part II

So it's now the 4th of July, and every idiot in the city thinks that means "Let's set a bunch of shit on fire!" But that's not what this holiday is about. It's about freedom. It's about moving away from an oppressive form of Government and giving its followers choice. Evidently the memo was lost in my neighborhood, and all the neighbors saw were the firework stands. But I digress.

While I don't want this blog to be about sadness and heartache, I must comment on something that, for two years, has been absolutely eating me up inside. Not something, someone. Shawn. I suspect he will never read this, so I will speak freely. Shawn was, and always will be, the love of my life. He was smart, funny, quick witted, and will (fortunately or not) be the measure of all future loves for me. He came with a dark side, of course, as we all do, but in spite of that, I loved him more than anything. And like most men have, he broke my heart. And two years later, I am still broken.

I recently met a man, a doctor, who I found quite attractive and interesting. And, despite my better judgement, after my exam (and a buttload of money!) later, I found on Facebook, messaged, and thought 'scored' a date with. Turns out, he's no different than the many, many men in the DC area, and can't seem to act his age and actually agree to go out. Rather, he wants his playtime. I wish him the best. My point in saying all of this is that it seems to not matter what I do, say, or look like, I am never good enough. I know, I know, I sound like a whiny bitch, and I don't mind. It's just been the luck of the draw for me.

At the end of the day, I have my two beautiful dogs, a very exclusive and wonderful friends, and the knowledge that I'm not one of the 'A-gays' I so frequently refer to, and feel good about who I am. I just hope and pray it's not all in vain.